i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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