Grow some girl-balls and come out already
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
