Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine