My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
She's JV to your varsity
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.