you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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