i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.