hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback