It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?