Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize