i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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