We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You need a sexual gate keeper
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
