As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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