Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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