I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The dick lei will go down in squad history
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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