Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
