therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
