question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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