i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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