you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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