he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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