Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
