kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
