I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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