She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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