between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
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