We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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