so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
