Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
