Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
