i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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