i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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