Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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