dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
