a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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