We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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