Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
