did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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