Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize