worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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