I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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