yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
