how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
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