I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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