its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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