Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
