is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
