just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
