you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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