After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
