Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
