dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
