Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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