Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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