see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
she smelled like a LAN party
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
