After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
