As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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