i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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