Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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