I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
