i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
zippers are such a cool invention
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
