do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
My pussy is not your playground.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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