It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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