it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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