why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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